It took many years to learn but I finally figured out that giving a woman a toaster for Valentine’s Day, no matter how nice or how much we needed one, is just a bad idea. In point of fact, I have discovered it is never acceptable to give a woman a gift for any occasion which can be used in the performance of a chore or from which you will derive some benefit. Note to sons, please take to heart this hard-won wisdom. Alright, I never actually gave Jeanine a toaster but some of my gifts have come close. This year my Valentine gave me a book entitled The 5 Love Languages (couples who understand each other’s love language hold a priceless advantage in the quest for love that lasts a lifetime). Note to daughter, men like toasters.

Kidding aside, I have started to read the book and as is generally the case I have a lot to learn.